I went back last Friday night to be with Akajon in Subang . I bought some groceries. I am not sure what to expect from him. So, better to expect the unexpected.Today is Monday, I need to go back to Shah Alam. I was having a general conversation with him while walking towards the bus stop.He was moody and wearing a very tight expression on his cloudy face.He was very upset of what I have just said to him earlier. No intentions to hurt his feelings but damages already done. He was scolding and letting me know what he felt about me right at the bus stop like a small child. I said Shayateen was in his blood and making him negligence. He quickly replied I was the one who is being tricked by the was was of shayateen and I transmitted this diseases to him.I was dumbfounded. Alhamdulillah, I managed to control my emotions.
I am back in Shah Alam..
I have to do a postmortem to reflect myself . This is a big test from Allah. I believe I fail miserably .I did not realize till now that I have done huge damages to Akajon. He accused me of being disrespectful to him as my husband. It brought tears to my eyes hearing and swallowing all this bitter accusation on me. He blamed me from the beginning of this event. I quickly admitted my mistakes and seek forgiveness from him. I know deep in my heart that I was also a victim of circumstances. but now it does not matter to me anymore. I have to give in to save our marriage. Now I begin to understand why he is cold towards me. I hurt him...I am sorry...I was hurt too...It happened too fast. You got married and I have to bear every single thing that went wrong along the way.This is new to me..perhaps I do not know how to react to this kind of situation. You must give me the chance as I gave you the chance to be with that woman for the past two weeks. It was not an easy task for me to shoulder.. You are still communicating with her every single day. I feel jealous but I suppress it as soon as it resurface in my heart. I am struggling to adapt to this new episode . Everything now seem different to me. Ya Allah ..help me overcome this situation and make it easy for all of us..Ameen.
Still.. I am not sure now whether he used to be the man I knew 10 years ago or a complete changed person...time really flies...

I am back in Shah Alam..
I have to do a postmortem to reflect myself . This is a big test from Allah. I believe I fail miserably .I did not realize till now that I have done huge damages to Akajon. He accused me of being disrespectful to him as my husband. It brought tears to my eyes hearing and swallowing all this bitter accusation on me. He blamed me from the beginning of this event. I quickly admitted my mistakes and seek forgiveness from him. I know deep in my heart that I was also a victim of circumstances. but now it does not matter to me anymore. I have to give in to save our marriage. Now I begin to understand why he is cold towards me. I hurt him...I am sorry...I was hurt too...It happened too fast. You got married and I have to bear every single thing that went wrong along the way.This is new to me..perhaps I do not know how to react to this kind of situation. You must give me the chance as I gave you the chance to be with that woman for the past two weeks. It was not an easy task for me to shoulder.. You are still communicating with her every single day. I feel jealous but I suppress it as soon as it resurface in my heart. I am struggling to adapt to this new episode . Everything now seem different to me. Ya Allah ..help me overcome this situation and make it easy for all of us..Ameen.
Still.. I am not sure now whether he used to be the man I knew 10 years ago or a complete changed person...time really flies...
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