What is happening after one year passes by

I realized I stopped writing in this blog for over a year now. Guess I am too occupied with my daily chores. But today I feel like continue writing about my life with Akajon . Lots of things happened , Alhamdulillah, Akajon and I managed to go through all the obstacles. I have not seen him for two straight months already.The reason to this situation is because my daughter is moving out from her rented house and staying with his father perhaps for more than five to six months. Akajon is currently temporarily employed . I do miss him sometimes but most of the the time i am busy with my children and grand children. I really do not know when I can see him as he is also busy working night shift and sleeping during daytime, What a life. I have no complaints whatsoever, I think I need a break too..so does he..I hope.

Announcement..The new Arrival

The little baby girl finally arrives by the name of Awa Rose. She is very tiny compared to her big sister Ayeesha Rose who will be turning four years old this coming December insha allah.I need to update my status with Akajon too. I have not seen him nor I talked or communicated with him recently as I am still feeling upset about last week incident. He was supposed to turn up but he gave excused which was not acceptable to me . And the irony part of it is that I know he is actively messaging and skyping with his other wife but he dont even have the heart even to text me and ask how I am doing. I am sad .Only Allah knows what is in my breast.
I bought a sewing machine which cost me quite a fortune. I am glad I did this. I am not too concern anymore about Akajon having no money. I bet his other wife is prepared and willing to contribute for his living expenses and what not. Let him be occupied with her. I dont care no more. Insha Allah I have plenty of other stuff to do.

Trying to be strong.

It has been a few days already since I wrote on my last blog.Many things happened the last few days. I was busy.. Alhamdulillah Akajon managed to secure a room somewhere in Gombak. Things begin to settle nicely. 

Accepted with open heart

I had a heart to heart talk with Akajon this morning while having our breakfast. After that long talk I believe without reasonable doubt that he would leave me pretty soon. I rest my case. I can tell by now that I dont fit into his lifestyle anymore. I better get ready my heart and my soul from now. I cannot lie to myself saying that he is still the man I knew 10 years ago. He himself admitted that he has change. His attention was made clear to me, as clear as the crystal glass.He is definitely leaving me and is really desirous to be living with his other wife.Only Allah knows when will this thing going to happen or otherwise. He said I was very jealous of his other wife and  was disturbing him when she was here for that two weeks vacation. He was very angry and upset and even after she left for England he was still upset with me.I caused him distress...hermmm... he said he wanted to marry a young woman. have children and living and staying together whereas I as his wife , he claimed that I was not really fulfilling my duty as I am busy with my children affairs most of the times and i can bear him children because I am old . He added that he would go crazy if he continue living in this condition. He mentioned that his last resort was to go back to his homeland to be with his mother. I am a bit surprise by his remarks. He asked me what did I benefit from him. I said I  cant tell.I was wondering why then marry me in the first place despite knowing my situation at that time.Perhaps because I have some money back then and now I am poor, so I cannot provide to continue sustaining his living anymore...Allahu alam. End of our open heart to heart talk this was his final words ..Let bygone be bygone, lets you and I turn  a new page..I quickly added ..please dont be distress as I am not distress... For whatever reasons this maybe, Alhamdulillah, after I went though this difficult moments, Allah has make me become a stronger person and I am able to control my emotions and anger better.

He is looking forward to a new chapter of his life....May Allah make it easy for him and for his new wife. May Allah make it easy for me and my family..Ameen. 

A new Beginning...moving out again

Again I am being tested. Ya Allah, help me to overcome this situation. Ameen. My daughter is moving out tomorrow . I have to make decision fast. Akajon is not wanted in their new rented house. What can I say...I have to find a place of my own in case I chose not to stay with them. All because I have to bring Akajon to stay together with me  but then I do not know whether he will agree to this plan...Ya Allah, soften his heart and make things easy for all of us..ameen.

No internet Day

Internet connection was downed the whole day and night yesterday (Sunday) Akajon was very talkative.He must be relieved to know that I do not mind of him coming home very late after zuhur every Saturday and Sunday while having a skype chat with his other wife.I am getting used to this situation now. I am a bit skeptical as to why he is so keen to kinda force me to persuade my brother to complete the process of inheritance. The way he expressed himself  was unexpectedly alarming and dangerously sly. Maybe I am wrong but I have to be wise to handle this situation so that no one is hurt in the process. I am trying my very best to do good to others. I expect no reward from them. Ya Allah, help me be strong..Ameen.

Today I called him. No answers. 

Torn apart..

Akajon mentioned this this to me after coming back from zuhur prayer today. It seems that he will be occupied during this time every saturday and sunday  and he feels torn apart because I have to wait for him in the house for long hours. Hermmmm..Men will go all out to win a woman's heart but once he reached his goals he will find another woman to satisfy his lust and desire.Akajon is no exception...He loves to be surrounded with beautiful women...

I dyed my hair with henna today. I am still trying to look pretty in his eyes. I have a litle bit of headache too.I am trying to help him to find a job...