Siti Soleha Diary- Painful Heart

Day .30
I wrote another letter this morning,the 9th letter to be exact.Had breakfast with family at Khalifah Restaurant then went buying groceries at Tesco Shah Alam.Syuhaida called  asked me to buy disposable diapers for Naufal,went to Anggerik.Came back,Syuhaida was upset coz the father asked her to pay immediately.I was not aware that she was upset with me for letting the father know about what happened back there in Penang.Now she is very angry with me and I am truly very sick of her arrogance and stupidity.

Siti Soleha Diary- Dear Akajon

Day 29

 I feel like writing a bit more today,have ample time to so since no programme for today.Syuhaida did not post my letter in the morning, I was upset,silly of me to ask someone to do it even if she is your own daughter.I cannot trust anyone anymore...How are you today.?...Tonight is Malam Jumaat,I read suratul Yassin...Cant wait to hear your voice again.Ya Allah,I beg you to let me speak with him, ameen...

Siti Soleha DiARY-Running Nose

Day 29

Today I have a terrible running nose due to my sinus problem,too much of consuming belacan,ikan masin and chicken,which make me more sick than ever.I wrote another letter last night to Akajon,hopefully he received it in time before his departure to his home country.Perhaps,I could meet him too,Allahu Aklam. I was feeling good yesterday because Damir called me and informed me that alhamdulillah,he managed to see Akajon in prison and another good news was that the second case was also 4 months jail term,so no changes on the date of his release.What a big relief...I dont know whether to cry or laugh out loud, too excited...
I pray and hope that they treated you well in there.Take good care of yourself Akajon...I miss your sweet voice

Siti Soleha Diary- Another Day passes by

Day 27

How are you getting on with the others inside there?Do you make any new friends yet?I just arrived from Penang 1 hour ago and now feeling a bit tired and headache.Hope you are doing fine...I sms to Damir,still cant find Uzbek man .Time is running out.I hope to see you before they make you leave this country.Please find some way so that i can get in touch with you.I cant write much today,so I stop now ..Take care Akajon...I miss you so much...

Siti Soleha DiARY-Car broke down

I am stranded with my children here in Penang,we cant go back to Shah Alam,Hanna's father's car broke down.Fan belt snap,the mechanic had to order somewhere.It's been 2 days ago,and I am still in Penang.Last night I slept in mak's house.Insya Allah,perhaps tomorrow the car is ready.
Azman called me today,he called me through Hanna's mobile.Masya'Allah,Allah is Most Kind and Most Merciful.Hopefully,Azman can assist me to find Uzbeki man soon.No news from Damir today.Alhamdulillah, I managed to sew Lin's baju kurung,completed 2 pairs..
Tonight ,Mi n Ina n Lin go to Mak Ngah's house in Permatang Pauh.Anis is here with us.I have stopped writing letter to him.InsyaAllah,I plan to write again tomorrow.
You are always on my mind Akajon..May Allah Make us meet soon,ameen.

Siti Soleha Diary - Al fatihah

I was busy for the past few days.My mother passed away on the 23 December 2010.Rushed back from Shah Alam to Penang on same day,reached Jelutong Masjid and alhamdulillah,I had the last opportunity to touch and kiss mak for the last time minutes before the burial ceromony.Talqin was read by a young Ustaz.WEnt back to mak 's house in Gelugor,so many mak relatives and friends gathered there already.I am too tired to look around.
too sad,too emotional....Mak, we all miss you dearly...and I miss you too Akajon...what are you doing now? I cant tel you this breaking news ...you are not reachable at this moment....

Siti Soleha DiARY -Do you miss me too?

Day 21

Everything is now moving at a very slow pace.I mean everything around me...kinda abruptly come to a halt...
Is it because I have nothing else to do except thinking what is going to happen to all of us especially to you and me.It is not good to think about something to do with the unseen .I have to have yaqin that this is qada and qadar from Allah swt.
Alhamdulillah,I wrote the 5th letter today.The content maybe boring but I hope it will bring joy to you when you read my letter.I dont expect anything from you at this moment of time due to your constraint and limited space.How long more can I hold on?Only Allah swt knows the answer...

Siti Soleha DiARY-I miss you Akajon

Day 20

How are you today,Akajon?Any breaking news?That would be my text message to him if he is away from home.It's been 20 days. My mobile phone is silence now,no ringing ,no sms from him.Every time I look at his pictures,I feel sad,really longing to see him and be together again like before.This evening I posted a third letter ,but I forgot to seal the envelope.Hopefully,he can received it.My sister from kampung called,mak is not well.I pray to Allah swt for her fast recovery,ameen

What else can I write or say now except this,I miss you Akajon....................I miss you so much............

Siti Soleha DiARY-What's happening in there..?

Today, early morning after subuh prayer, I wrote another letter to him.Hopefully, both letters will reached him soon.Hanna's father is not well,so didnt go to work.I passed my time today by sewing new curtains, insya Allah to be used on Fiza wedding day.

Akajon,I am wondering what are you doing right now?Do you miss me as much as I miss you?I feel bad sometimes because at this very moment I am so free to do what I like, eat,drink,sleep,no restrictions whatsoever and you are not able to do things much.Do they make you wash your own clothes?How many hours of sleep do they allow for inmates like you.Ah..I have 1001 questions lingering in my mind.so curious what's going on behind those thick high brick walls..

May Allah make us meet soon,ameen

Siti Soleha DiARy-One Day at Kajang prison

I am counting the number of days left for him and today is the 18th day.Allah did not let me see him yet despite of me asking my daughter to drive all the way from Shah Alam to Kajang prison this morning.When we arrived, the place was already crowded with so many people,mostly malays and  indians.I dont see any chinese people at all.I waited for almost an hour, when my name was being called out loud by the prison warden, I was very excited,thinking that alas,perhaps today Allah will let me meet him in person.It didnt happen the way I planned earlier and yes,I was  a bit sad and disappointed, when the warden told me that they could not allowed me in because the inmate is a foreigner and I am a local citizen,so they said I must bring someone from the same country and registered under his/her name in order for them to issue out a visitor pass.Then and only then I may use the pass for visiting .This is completely insane.How on earth am I suppose to find his fellow country man in a very short notice of time.I was not properly informed of their ruling and visiting procedures.I already called them numerous number of time to check and double check whether they allow me to visit and all of them at the end of the phone line said YES.They did not response to my plea . I said,I came as far as Penang .They couldnt be bothered,turned their back on me and brushed me off as if I was not there at all.

So,I went to the car park and drove all the way back home. Ya Allah,grant me patience and steadfastness in your deen,Take us out from this musibah and placed us in a better condition.Ameen

Siti Soleha DiARY

Day 17

I am having dizzy spell since morning.Morning breakfast at Lotus,PJ with family.Afternoon drop by at Subang Parade,Papa Hanna bought new Nokia mobile phone for her.A friend called up,still could not meet up with him at Kajang. Pity him, already the third time went and still to no avail.May Allah may it easy for all of us,ameen. It seems that, I received wrong information yesterday about visiting hours.Saturday visiting time is at 8.30am to 11.30am.Sunday is from 8.30am 2.30pm.I need to confirm the schedule with the staff tomorrow morning,insya Allah.
Something weird is happening to my body.I never felt like this for a very long time.In fact today, I felt sick,lost a a bit of appetite and I  feel lazy.

Flash back memories contd..

Alhamdulillah,I am still breathing to this very second.Allah has made me to live up to now.I cannot stop thinking about my beloved husband,he seems so near and yet so far away from me..How can I stop thinking of him??Only Allah swt knows how bad I wanna see him..16 days behind bars..
Insya Allah, I will count every single day until he is a free man...biiznillah.Ya Allah,give me patience and strength to go through this tough time and take us out from this situation and put us in a better situation,ameen.
Already past two days I am having a dizzy spell.is it due to too much caffeine?I have been drinking big mug of coffee twice a day,maybe I am feeling the side effect now. I really wanted to visit him in prison, but no one seems interested to take me to Kajang.

Siti Soleha DiARY

Day 14....
 Mood OK
Healthwise OK too,alhamdulillah

I am starting to counting down the number of days..Last night I could not sleep well,too much thinking to do..and today morning woke up with big fat headache.I made a few phone calls here and there trying to gather as much information I could..May Allah SWT make it easy for me,ameen,.

Siti Soleha DiARY

I have waited 14 long days to hear about the NEWS..Alhamdulillah,today I received the NEWS.How my heart should  response to this NEWS?I have mixed feelings about this situation I am facing now.May Allah SWT  guide me to the straight path.I think this is one of the BIG TEST from Allah SWT.


FLASHBACK MEMORIES

My life has been like a roller coaster since the last 5 years.But dont get me wrong,I dont feel depressed or angry or sad.In fact, I feel happy to live like this despite having losing so much in material wealth.Yes, but no regret whatsoever.I was even in the worst scenario earlier.I have been drifting in and out doing all kinds of sinful acts.

I was born n bred in a small kampung.So, my childhood days were always fun with colorful memories.My second brother passed away when I was 10 then followed by my father.My mother was 32 years at that time.I have another brother,the eldest son in the family 2 years older than me,my sister and a younger brother.My mother is  now paralyse ,everything has to depend on others.She has been like this already 4 years.I dont have any problems during my preteen years.Alhamdulillah, I managed to enter a local college and later found a steady job after graduation.Been there for almost 24 years,I mean same industry..Got married at 21 years and alhamdulillah bestowed with 6 children,a boy and 5 girls.My marriage ended  after 20 years.I was single again..went back to my kampung and stayed with my family for a while.Then, I met a young interesting guy who is 15 years younger than me,seemed he knows a lot of stuff especially concerning religion.I liked him instantly.We barely knew one another and yet he asked me to marry him.I responded positively,quickly telling him to come to my family.He came and later God willing through some friends help we got married quietely without family gatherings.That was 5 years  and 2 months ago to be exact. A lot of things I learned from him.