Akajon already back in his country,Uzbekistan ,now staying in his sister's house.I managed to contact him today via prepaid call card which lasted for nearly 20 minutes.I felt sad when he mentioned that his family is trying very hard to make him stay there for good by marrying him to a local woman.I dont think they even bother to consider me as Akajon's wife here anymore.No guilty feelings whatsoever.I also felt hurt,my heart is aching terribly.After all the troubles I went through with Akajon,this is what I got from them...Or maybe I am the one who is selfish here.
I am jumping the gun too fast,I guess.But in my mind, I can forsee that I will never meet him ever again,what more to stay as a married couple.Perhaps after six years together,this is the best thing that we should do,to walk on opposite direction.Me my way and you your way.I am too old to continue this kind of life style.It's becoming to heavy for me to shoulder the burden by myself.Or maybe I am acting weird now because my mind is not stable due to Aunt flo stopping by last night.Perhaps I am making an irrirational decision.Too early to consider and decide on this option of going separate ways.But Akajon,I am hurt and confused now.What must I do...?You have your own problems there to settle and I have my own problems as well.
I think I should let both of us cool down and relax for a while.I know there's a lot of constraint there.So,I have to be patient with you also.Akajon, if I have enough money,surely I will fly to your country as soon as I got the chance,but my constraint is also money,just like you.I dont know for long more I would be able to withstand this pressure,Allahu'alam.Please Akajon,dont play me out.Dont use me as your puppet..Dont abuse me...Dont pressure me...I am going to burst anytime,if you ever do these things to me..I cannot stand the pressure no more...coz Akajan,I am really in dilemma..Ya Allah,please help me to be patient and steadfast in your deen,ameen....
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